Crackers In My Bath Water

Julie Schnell Blog Self Reflection Tears

I recently had one of those days. You know the kind where your mind calls out “Calgon, take me away.” But I wished Calgon was a suave gentleman’s name and he would whisk me away to a tropical island where there were few people and no electronics. You see, earlier in the day I had spent no less than four hours on the phone with tech support trying to fix an issue with my work computer, and before that I was working hesitantly, never knowing when the blue screen of death was going to overcome my screen… again.

When I got home my husband and I took our normal walk and planned on leftovers for dinner. I chose to just have cheese and crackers. Then I eyed a cheap bottle of champagne that looked like just what I needed. My husband looked at me strangely as
I asked him to open it. Even stranger when I said I was taking the glass AND the bottle, oh, and the cheese and crackers, to the bathtub.

Having Calgon on my mind, I looked in the bathroom closet for the bubbles that wash everything way, but none were to be found, so I settled with Epsom salts & lavender oil. Then I tried to turn on my wireless speaker so I could listen to some much needed calming music…and…the battery was dead. The day just kept giving.

Finally, music was coming from my phone, a candle was lit, and lights were dimmed. The edge of the tub was staged with champagne (the bottle nearby), and a small plate of cheese and crackers, as I relaxed in a warm bath, wishing the stress of the day would melt away. I only opened my eyes to pick up my glass, or a piece of food. My only intention was to relax.

After about twenty minutes I sat up a little and looked down. What I saw was the last little thing my psyche needed to break free and release. Here I was, in the tub, water now close to room temperature, champagne half gone, and yes, cracker crumbs floating around me. For whatever reason, that was the trigger for the cleansing tears to begin flowing. While they began with a how can this be the state of my life kind of feeling, I quickly realized it was just what I needed, so I let them flow.

Big, deep tears, coming from places unknown, were flowing as I began trying to pick up some of the now soggy cracker pieces. In the back of my head was an image of my husband wondering why the drain was clogged, which just made me cry more. No, this wasn’t just about electronics and tech support. It was something deeper.
An accumulation of emotional baggage picked up while traveling through life.
The whole day was just the trigger I needed for examination.

Those kinds of days feel so frustrating, dark, and draining. But they offer the opportunity for release, if you choose it. Mine was ushered in by taking time for myself and allowing the tears to flow. Yours might be sweating it out doing your favorite exercise or blasting your favorite bad-mood-busting song on the radio as you drive home. And the next time this kind of day comes around, it may be something different that returns you to peace.

The point is to do something, anything, to bring you back to peace. Just attempting to try will inform your heart and soul that harmony is what you desire, and the very cells of your body will begin to respond and assist you in your shedding the unwanted mood.

None of this means there won’t be another evening like this to come, though I may not choose crackers again. A day is just a day. It’s our reactions to daily circumstances that influence our mood, and whether we want to take responsibility or not, it is ours to transform.

Blessings on your journey!


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