Hold your hand up if there’s someone in your life you struggle with. Maybe they’re mean or disrespectful to you. Maybe they hurt you a long time ago and they haven’t apologized, so you’re holding on to resentment (that’ll show ‘em). Or maybe they just live their life so differently that you can’t wrap your head around it, so you call it “wrong.”
What if we could see? Imagine for a moment that we had the ability to see the moment a child’s heart was broken, witnessed as their soul was crushed, or when their body felt the first of many blows, and then see into the past of the person(s) perpetrating such acts. How would you feel about a person if you knew where or what they came from, or what may have made them the way they are? By the way, it’s quite possible they could be wondering the same about you.
Several years ago, my husband and I sat down to watch a horror movie directed by Rob Zombie. His version of Halloween begins with the early childhood of Michael Meyers. Only a few minutes into the movie I experienced something I never had and never want to again. As I watched Michael endure unspeakable torture as a child, I began having a full body, visceral reaction to what I was witnessing. My body felt like it was on fire,
I started shaking, and I thought I was going to throw up. After a couple of minutes,
I left the room saying, “I can’t watch this.” I’d love to be able to say those things only come from the warped mind of Rob Zombie, but the unfortunate reality is some have experienced such things.
Most likely, the “Michael” in your life isn’t a serial killer. He/she could be the annoying coworker in the next cubicle that seems to be completely inconsiderate of everyone else that shares the workspace. Maybe they’re a neighbor you can’t seem to get along with, or a family member that only pushes your buttons. How differently would you feel about them…if you knew?
The chances are the person you may be struggling with didn’t experience a tragic upbringing like can be seen in the movies. It’s far more likely what happened seemed innocent at the time, for example, a selfish, rude behavior exhibited by a child, gone unadmonished by parents who didn’t care for one reason or another. Years of friends and family members not checking someone on their treatment of others results in someone who creates drama and stress wherever they go because no one took the time to teach them another way. What would they be like if someone would have taken the time and discipline to teach generosity and compassion, rather than giving in to tantrums and defiance?
I’d like to think it would evoke a sense of compassion and understanding that may lead at least to tolerance, though some may even take pity. While both are higher vibrations than hatred or disdain, and that is certainly a place to start, there is a way to rise even higher than that.
One of my favorite authors, Wayne Dyer, often said, “We are Spiritual beings having a human experience.” Many religions would have us believe there is a light within us that cannot be dimmed. The truth is, we are that light! It’s just been covered up by so many bushels of stories and masks that we’ve become defenders of the masks, rather than the light.
It’s funny that most of the time the deepest and most profound healing comes by way of returning to what is simple and pure. When you put your ego, it’s love for the complex, and need to be right, to the side for a little while, your soul can take a deep breath of forgiveness and wipe the slate clean. That’s what happens when you begin to practice Ho’oponopono. Yes, it’s a strange word, but a profoundly healing practice. Pronounce (Ho-o-pono-pono), In his book, Zero Limits, Joe Vitale shares Dr. Hew Len’s words:
Ho’oponopono offers a way to release the energy of these painful thoughts, or errors, which cause imbalance and disease.
This ancient Hawaiian process takes you back to the one, well actually to zero - what we are without all the labels, judgements, and injuries. Back to the God space we not only came from but are. It helps us remember everyone else is just another aspect of the same. And any label we give them other than that is only our job to remove, not theirs.
Through this gentle practice we begin to take 100% responsibility for what is showing up in our lives and experience true peace. I will share more about this powerful practice in future blogs, but I highly recommend you pick up Zero Limits if you want to know more. When we change, the world around us changes, including those who may be pushing our buttons.
Blessings on your journey!